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I am going to tell this story with as much truth and heart as I can! I want you all to know whatit is like to bear a child, give birth to and raise a child with a disability! I hope that by reading this you become a little more educated and also alot more compassionate.

In 1997, John and I found out we were going to be parents...again. we kinda had mixed feelings cause our finances were rough and we were barely making it frmo pay check to paycheck but we figured God had a reason for this pregnany. It was a terrible pregnancy. I went into labor at 28 weeks. I started to dialate and was in and out of the hospital on and off terbultaline and magsulfate. The baby however was doing good. It was measuring larger than it should be and that was no reason for panic. I wanted to see my baby. I kinda begged for an ultrasound each visit. My doctor, Dr. Susan Haack, said that wouldn't be needed cause we were all doing good. Well at my 30 week appointment she said the baby wasnt measuring right that now at 30 weeks...it was measuring 27 weeks. So she scheduled an ultrasound.(I was kinda happy about that)

Well the day of the ultrasound I told John to stay home. He didnt need to wake up for just a routine ultrasound. So I drove to the doctors by myself. When I got there it was like 8:30 AM! The ultrasound technician called me in and we began the ultrasound. We started things normally and then after 15 minutes he tilted the screen towards him...not allowing me to see. I became a little apprehensive. Then he started to just keep the little scanner on my right side. I was thinkning in my head...ok Lord, it isnt the baby's head...at least it isnt the brain. I kept asking "what is wrong with my baby?" Nothing he would say...I am just getting some pictures. But he didn't move the scanner, he stayed in the same spot. The *routine* u/s took about an hour. I had this terrible feeling. The technician had asked me to stick around in case the Dr wanted more pictures. Now i was REALLY scared. It was a long wait. Or so it felt anyway! ;-( I went out in the hall way to call my mom. She said John was still in bed but she would leave a note for him. She said calm down it is just my nerves! (but I knew better) I had this gut feeling about something...but WHAT> Was it the baby's Heart? I just couldn't think of what ws over there!